Distasteful

I've pretty much engulfed my whole week thinking about so many things. Questions. Doubts.


No really. As emo and depressing as this sound, have you ever questioned yourself? Whether the path you have chosen is the path you want to continue on?

I once thought i was abso-positively sure that this IS THE RIGHT PATH. But now, i feel like i'm just going around in circles. And squares. And triangles. And trapezoids.

I've been reading a few blogs written by students from Aimst. Seems that i'm not the only one feeling pathetic and down.


There is this one thing that is bothering me like superduperalot till shitting that time also I will think about it.

SOCIAL DOMINANCE.

Though many people (parents and friends included) advised me that everywhere is the same. That it doesn't matter where you study, or what you study, social hierarchy will always always exist.

Everyone wants to be popular. And be well known by many. But sometimes, its the method you use to achieve it that reflects your actual standing. Backstabbing, gossiping. Really, is it necessary?

Do you consider the friends in your social circle YOUR REAL FRIEND? SOMEONE YOU CAN DEPEND ON AND TRUST?

How can you when that circle started on the basis of lies and midnight gossips??? Everything is just an act. Blasphemy.


Wtf i'm making myself sound like a total social reject. Im not ok (in case you are wondering). Im quite comfy with my current friends.

But these are the general thoughts I AM VERY SURE EVERYONE WILL THINK ABOUT SOONER OR LATER.

But I digress.

I feel so lost here. How can friends do such distasteful things to each other and still be able to put on that wide smile?

[SOME] people here are abit weird. Their mindset. And maturity level. It sometimes shock me that these 'kids' are actually in their 20s.

Argh. Distasteful. Really distastful.

I just want to walk back down the taken path, and take the other road not taken.
(ie. I shouldve just gone to IMU)

*end of rant*